Rich Dreams

I used to dream about big bills, pretty women and alcohol. Ain’t nothing changed except now I’m doing what I set out to do. I ain’t even reach my altitude. Singing off key so the crowd can boo. But not giving a damn about it all and shake floor till the ground get loose. We see the glitz and the pearls and think that’s the way of life. Not knowing these lil white girls don’t know they left from right. See the dame in pretty clothes but don’t know she carrying a venereal and soon as you see it you gon be hepa-tight. I think I dealt with enough shit to know my latrines well. I’ve dealt with enough jockeys to know they feen well. Do me a favor and jump off, now pick a spot. No matter where I go they always gonna follow me to the top.

Staying in a traphouse that got like 20 different types of weaponry. Moved outta ya momma house and knew she was sickened medically. But you just left to be a gangster saying it was ya destiny. Mom left you with four words of discouragement saying “you’re dead to me”. How do you reverse those eyes from tryna look at you daringly. Ain’t satisfied with ya life so you wanna live vicariously/ through someone else and see you been doing wrong and nothing else. Expecting angels to help you but can’t even help ya fuckin self.

In a time where I long to blow up and reach pinnacle heights. My heartbeat is a constant reminder of why I’m here to write. Out of darkness and into light. That star I’m reaching for is gettin bright. Eyes wide open ain’t nothin gunna go dim my sight. Long as I’m here you know nothing is gunna block my path. Like sitting in the front row desks you know I’mma be ahead the class.

Insight: This was written from my views on fame and notoriety. When people talk about being rich and famous, theses things mentioned in my writing come to mind. Verse 1 deals with what is held behind the curtain of fame. Because we often see celebrities living fancy lives, we assume they are living to perfection. Not knowing they are actually hiding something the public isn’t aware of. Verse 2 talks about what people will do just to gain fame. If they are really obsessed they will forget their life and live out a celebs life instead. Verse 3 talks about reaching the top (top being fame). Many struggle to reach their dreams and I am one of those many people.

Overcome (8/5/12)

Overcome (8/5/12)

When pain is the glove it becomes super glued to you, cover up ya face feel like crying is the usual. People keep abusing you, fear is what you losing to. Then pain brings memories and share the hurt so its mutual. But we gotta rise above it, hate it then we love it. Pull out that happiness they thought we never would discover. Step up to the plate to see the enemy and confront it. Let your confidence hang around you like a chain leave it studdard. 

Its hard to move on when you think you lost everything. Forgetting memories you thought you'd never stop cherishing. Ones that were joyous times and even the embarrassing. But you only continue on so more memories developing. I understand how the pain feels, the moment it became real. Unbalanced on my feet felt like I had a maimed heel. But I let my outer core just remain steel. They took my possessions but inside me is my heart and that's something that you can't steal. 

It's hard to live this life without thinking bout the drama, living mainly for today cuz tomorrow is never promised. The same was said for my cousin Thomas but he reminds us. That the violence should be suppressed and anything less won't solve the problem. Its easy to take a man than to raise him through this journey. I don't know what hurts more giving birth or him being buried. Seeing him lay there in that coffin really hit me and disturbed me. I cry the same day thinking death wanted to assure me. 

I love you Thomas

Insight: This was written shortly after the passing of my cousin Thomas Martin. He was shot dead in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. It was a tragedy in our family but somehow I did not feel much pain when I heard the news. I never really got to know my cousin, so I couldn't cry like everyone else around me were doing. When it came to his funeral, however, I did indeed cry. The first paragraph deals with overcoming a sadness in your and to not let it run rampant inside you. The next paragraph deals with holding on to the things you hold most dearest to you. These can range from memories or emotions. Don't let others see that you are hurting, as some take advantage of that. The last paragraph is aimed directly towards Thomas  His violent death does not need to be violently retaliated. Watching him being buried looked just as painful as his mom giving birth to him. Death assured me that while I did not know my cousin too well I was able to cry over the fact that someone close has passed away. 

All of Me (8/6/12)

All of Me (8/6/12)

I've given you all of me and this what you do with it. Tell me bout bow ya mad and how you can't go through with it. The girls at the park is lying always talking that foolishness. Don't believe the word of mouth that bullshit is just ludicrous. We supposed to be each others world without me there's no orbit. Take me here as I am to make life with me joyous. If you leave me now you allow my heart to destroy me. Dropping bombs all over me set up the explosive deployment. 

We soar through the sky at nightfall when no ones around, only the sound of are hearts beating limitless in our bound. We hit the ground with thunderous force became lost then was found. With you no obstacle impedes my paths everything is surmount. You hold me together when I'm broken, hold me tight when I'm left open. Able to love me if my body was without care and corrosive. When were together there's an inconsistent flow like the ocean. With you there's no daily limit exceed past regular dosage.

Insight: Written after I started dating my girlfriend on 8/4/12. I knew she was something special. The first paragraph deals with my relationship from before. My ex would believe lies from other people. There are a number of metaphors to describe how bad the situation became. The second paragraph deals with my new relationship. I feel like unable to be without her. She cares for me and I just can't seem to get enough of her care.